Our research with thousands of couples from countries across the globe reveals that there are two groups of critical success factors in a relationship. One group of factors is about things such as attraction, affection, romance and sex - the things that initially draw people together. The second group  covers relationship handling skills, skills such as control, commitment, communication, conflict resolution and sharing of responsibilities, the factors that help build trust in marriage.  

The RDQ questionnaire is a scientifically validated instrument that measures the quality of a couple's relationship by comparing their satisfaction ratings with thousands of other people who have completed the questionnaire. It can be taken on its own or used in conjunction with marital counselling. It gives relationships advice and tips based on an analysis of how far the factors below are present in your relationship. 

Successful relationship management requires a range of skills. Like other skills, these need to be updated to reflect changing circumstances and situations. Here are our suggestions for keeping your relationship strong.    

Autonomy. Give your partner freedom and support to achieve his/her own goals in life and respect his/her need for privacy at times.  

Control. Approach the relationship as partnership of equals rather than an arrangement where one person tries to control the other or change their personality.  

Commitment. Set high standards for the relationship and strive to make the partnership a success. Allow yourself to be influenced by your partner.    

Relatedness. Spend time with your partner and learn to recognize and understand their feelings and emotions. Be prepared to adapt and change as your partner does.    

Responsibilities. Discuss and agree roles and responsibilities for a genuine partnership and deliver on your side of the agreement.    

Communication. Talk to your partner, say nice things about him/her, express your aspirations, feelings and emotions and encourage your partner to do the same.    

Agreements. Discuss things with your partner before making decisions, be prepared to compromise and accept that it is okay to disagree.    

Conflict Resolution. Learn to recognize and manage conflict in order to prevent minor disagreements escalating into rows. Be prepared to back off, change the topic, use humor and take cooling-off breaks.  

Attraction. Say nice things to your partner to boost his/her confidence and make him/her feel good about himself/herself.    

Affection. Show affection by being thoughtful and considerate and displaying non-verbal signs of affection.    

Romance. Tell your partner regularly that you love him/her and remember and celebrate important dates like birthdays and anniversaries.    

Sex. Discuss each other's sexual preferences and desires, seek help for any sexual problems.

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